Tips

Communication

As human beings, we communicate constantly through words, gestures, facial expressions and many other avenues. Wedding planning can be made much easier or much more difficult depending on how effective we are when we communicate. Think about the importance of communication when it comes to negotiating a contract with a vendor, discussing the guest list with your parents, and perhaps most important, what your expectations are for your married life with your fiancé.

Here are a few simple tips to help you communicate more effectively.

Think about what you want to say and say it clearly, directly and concisely.: Use the ‘less is more’ approach. Over communicating can muddy the issue and if the person you are communicating with doesn’t understand you, they can always ask for clarification.
Don’t try to tackle a conflict when you’re upset.: Wait until your emotions have cooled down before you approach the other person. Often we think more clearly after we’ve had time to process some of our emotions.
Reflectively listen.: No one communicates or listens perfectly all the time. Frequently check in with the other person by saying things like “It sounds like….” Or “Let me make sure I understand. You want….” This allows you to get back on track if a miscommunication has occurred.
If you have something to say, use a statement, not a question.: As women, many of us received messages growing up that discouraged us from telling others exactly what we are thinking, especially if it might make the other person uncomfortable. As a result, we sometimes ask a question when what we really need to do is make a statement. For instance asking “Don’t you even care about me?” when what we want to say is “I need more support from you.” Or “Is this the final quote for services?” instead of “The totals on this quote are for more money than we discussed.” It may be difficult to be this direct at first, but I guarantee, the more you practice, the more natural it feels.

If you have any questions about how to communicate more effectively or would like to suggest future tips, please email .